I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
