There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
