This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
