Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Semen is not good for contacts.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
