I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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