Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize