Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
