i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
