this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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