Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
