STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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