ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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