Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
