I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
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