How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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