hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
He did a backflip because drugs
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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