Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
