Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
