love makes seman taste better
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
