It's Friday. Sex?
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
