don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
