WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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