She announced her abortion via fbk
I wish i was in the wii world.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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