Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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