Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
