Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
