tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I think my nap took me to another dimension
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
