So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
