$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Randomize
