So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
