covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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