He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
