so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
