He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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