Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
