I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Randomize
