White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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