This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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