dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Come back. Shots need mouths.
i believe in u and ur pee
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
