its not stalking. its research.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
