one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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