I skipped work to stalk him.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
