I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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