Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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