I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
So I just went to clothing optional bar
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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