Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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