As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
