I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
