Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
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