Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
