I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Are we still banned from the library?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
