she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
