the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
where does the pee come out of this thing
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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